Beginning this month, we are introducing a new column to our blog in which respected professionals will offer up insight regarding different aspects of Social and Emotional Learning. First to contribute is our newest advisory board member, Dr. Shimon Schwartz, who is a respected child & adolescent Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist in New York City. Please visit him at www.placeofmind.com.

1) How do you deal with a teen who is reluctant to attend therapy as well as shows resistance during sessions?

Teenagers vary in their willingness to participate in therapy. In general, everything a teenager does or does not do could be perceived as a form of communication. For example, if a teen refuses to communicate, it might indicate his opposition to his parents, who typically arrange the meeting. In addition, it is part of the evaluation. Questions may arise as to why the teen refuses to talk? Is there something to hide, to protect from? Is it because of his/her inability to trust people, including the therapist? Once the reluctance is understood as possibly having multiple functions, one can understand the need to be patient and communicating that I am there for when the teen is finally ready to participate.

2) Adolescents who seek therapy present with what types of problems?

As one can expect, adolescents seek treatment and therapy for a variety of reasons. The common reasons are depression and anxiety which might be related to perfectionism and competitiveness of living in NYC. Issues of aggression against the self in the form of suicidal ideation or externalized aggression against property often require treatment. Other typical issues include ADHD, executive functioning, learning disabilities, autism and more.

3) How has the emergence of various forms of technology (cell phone use, social media platforms) affected your work with clients?

This is a fascinating area. I use a secured app to communicate with teenagers. It provides them with direct access to me which is consistent with their need to separate themselves from their parents, in order to eventually develop their adult personality, and yet feel connected to a caring adult.

4) What role does the family (if any) play in your work with teens?

Donald Winnicott, renown pediartician and child psychiatrist, said that there is no such thing as a baby without a mother. I believe that this is also true when it comes to teenagers. Teenagers, although imagining themselves to be independent, continue to be affected by their parents and siblings even when they ‘rebel’. My experience suggests that it is very important to learn about the parents and their own families of origin. It is also important to learn about the values and parenting styles and dynamics in the family. That being said, when teens attend individual therapy, the therapy itself remains confidential, otherwise teenagers would hesitate to share deeply personal information.

5) Can you describe your therapeutic style?

It would be most likely warm yet direct, honest yet not in a harmful way. I put emphasis of developing a warm and trusting relationship. The relationship is both the therapeutic tool and the healing ingredient, at least in part. On my business card, I write: ‘I listen first, then prescribe’.

6) How does being a parent and your own personal experiences help advise the work that you do with teens?

Being a parent is a humbling experience. It is also true that problems that families encounter in their home are present also in my own family. In many cases, I try to help the parent in me the same way I help other parents to parent their own kids.