Dr. Marc Brackett has dedicated his career to emotional literacy and developed the RULER approach to social and emotional learning. He is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center, Yale School of Medicine at Yale University. Marc has published 125 scholarly articles and has received numerous awards, including the Joseph E. Zins Award for his research on social and emotional learning and an honorary doctorate from Manhattanville College. He is also a distinguished scientist on the National Commission on Social, Emotional, and Academic Development and on the Board of Directors for the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL).

In a recent interview with world renown social psychologist Brene Brown, he discusses how emotional literacy - being able to recognize, name, and understand our feelings - affects everything from learning, decision making, and creativity, to relationships, physical and mental health, and performance. Here are our 10 biggest takeaways from the podcast interview. To access the podcast click here.

Give yourself permission to experience all your emotions during this challenging time: Many of us are experiencing paradoxical feelings and emotions during these turbulent times. Our anxiety and weariness is mixed with hopeful optimism and gratefulness. Some of us are feeling anxious but at the same time also feeling hopeful and optimistic. According to Marc Brackett this is in fact normal and a healthy regulation strategy (a way to reframe or reinterpret our reactive emotions to a situation). Reappraisal can modify emotional reactions to stressful, anxiety-provoking situations and can lead to psychological flexibility and emotional well-being.
Our society has become insincere with the multitude of “How are you?” questions and the commonplace “I am fine, thanks” answers. These greetings have become rote and lack any nuance or true concern and do not allow for real conversations. This can lead to a human disconnect, especially with our family and friends. Do not rush past these exchanges - instead, be mindful, present and sincere. If you are going to ask someone the question “How are you?” make sure you are prepared to receive an authentic answer and have time to provide an honest and empathetic response.
Find your own Uncle Marvin – an adult who supports a child and actively listens without judgement, as Brackett’s Uncle Marvin did for him. Brackett refers to this person as a ‘compassion emotion scientist’ and not an ‘emotion judge’. They shouldn’t tell you what to do, rather, they should be your coach and allow you to find your own solutions while having your back. Brackett cites that ⅔ of our youth feel like they don’t have an adult that meets this criterion. Marc challenges us to “Be some child’s Uncle Marvin.” Show a child genuine interest and understanding and forever change their life.
There is a difference between emotions and feelings and it is important. A feeling is a core experience, but an emotion is more specific and granular. The language of emotion is what we need to understand in order for people to thrive. Expanding our emotional vocabulary and emotion recognition is still considered an add-on and not integrated into the school system. By using the Ruler approach and mood meter, we can more easily decipher these differences and provide our children with SEL at a younger age.
Why understanding the data and science behind emotion matters: 1. Affects cognitive and physical health – our mind and body well-being is influenced by our positive and negative emotions 2. Affects decision making (In an experiment, teachers were tasked with grading papers while in a good mood and then while they were in a bad mood. The same papers received different grades that corresponded to the teacher’s mood and their shift in emotions) 3. Affects relationships - Emotions are signals that let us know to approach or avoid. 4. Affects environment and mental health - Emotions and environment are linked together 5. Affects performance and activity (for example, no one is going to hire someone with a negative attitude, lack of empathy and lousy people skills)
The case for SEL in the workplace- Emotion education gives you the transferable skills for life- we want people who are flexible, inspiring, and have great communication skills - just being a Harvard grad with a high IQ is not everything. Our cognitive abilities matter but how we deal with life and the ability to handle strong feelings and accept feedback is what lets us thrive in the workplace and perform at our highest level.
Our leaders must have SEL skills - Those in charge that can manage their own feelings set an example for the people under them about how to best handle their own emotions and frustrations. They are also better equipped to help others find inspiration and deal with moral and ethical situations. Their understanding of SEL provides people the courage to face their problems head-on and support their community. It’s the trickle down effect… people that see their leaders showing grace and emotional stability will follow their lead and the community as a whole will shine and exceed expectations.

8. The RULER Approach:

R ecognizing emotions
Be self-reflective, self-aware and curious. Emotion Scientist vs Emotion Judge.

U nderstanding emotions
Learn the underlying themes around emotions. Anger = Injustice; Disappointment = Unmet Expectations; Jealousy = Threat that someone or something will get taken away; Envy = Wanting what someone else has; Fear = impending danger; Joy = Achieving a goal.

L abeling emotions
Granular and nuanced ie. How much fear? Is it a lot or a little?

E xpressing emotions
Strategies. There are many barriers (gender, race, culture, class)

R egulating emotions
How to handle and cope ie prevent, maintain, enhance. Practice self-care. Listen for themes ie Regulate for disappointment, do not punish for anger.

9. Emotion regulation means not letting a negative feeling overwhelm you. During this time of Covid-19, it is normal to experience anxiety, but you can choose to not watch 10 hours of news a day and therefore not let the anxiety manifest and take over. Learning to express your emotions in a healthy and balanced way will also decrease the deluge of negative emotions. Unprocessed emotions are not benign, they metastasize and sit in your gut, heart, and mind and will emerge when least expected. Our lack of emotional awareness also prevents us from being our authentic selves and can mean that we truly do not know those closest to us or even ourselves.

10. Meta-emotion refers to the idea that whenever we elicit a certain emotion, we also deal with subsequent emotions regarding how we experienced the primary emotion. In this current world situation it could mean feeling shame about having feelings of anxiety, disappointment and grief. Meta-emotions modify one's emotional life, decisions, identity, and behavior and have a crucial role in emotion regulation and in fostering coherence with one's own values. When experiencing meta-emotions you can apply the RULER Approach to help you reflect upon these stacked emotions. Finding out where these secondary feelings are coming from and understanding their significance and influence on your life can definitely earn you that black belt in emotional intelligence.