Governor Andrew Cuomo — #SELSuperstar

New York’s Governor, Andrew Cuomo, has captured the minds and imaginations of an entire country with his daily press briefings and appearances. Many have suggested that his prominence stems from his commitment to providing us with facts at a time when life is so confusing and we face unprecedented hardships and unknowns. But we believe there's more to it than being a voice of reason at this time. Why has one state's public servant been able to lead, inspire and reassure so many in our country? How does he do it? What makes him so successful?

As devotees of social and emotional learning, we recognize Governor Cuomo as embodying the five principal characteristics of strong emotional intelligence: empathy and compassion, emotional vulnerability, communication and social skills, self-awareness and self-regulation. While good leadership may be defined by many qualities, we believe that it is his mastery of these SEL characteristics that makes him a truly outstanding leader. Not only does he perpetually exhibit composure, confidence and highly attuned executive functioning skills, but he regularly shows us through personal stories and vulnerable displays of emotion his authentic self. This emotional honesty connects him to his fellow New Yorkers as not just another political leader but as a fellow human being suffering through the same worry, confusion and fear that we all do.

Governor Cuomo is a bright spot in this dismal reality. As we seek new information daily, he has become both educator and friend, leader and collaborator. With him by our side, we New Yorkers remain resilient, steadfast and supported.

Empathy & Compassion

Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position. Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help the physical, mental, or emotional pains of another and themselves.

Governor Cuomo reminds us daily that the pandemic is first and foremost a human tragedy of breathtaking proportion. At the daily briefing he always expresses gratitude to each and every category of frontline workers for their resilience and dedication and bravery. He often talks of the pride he feels and that as New Yorkers we are tough but we also care. He takes the time to sensitively chronicle the death toll and hospitalization rates with us in a shared mourning. He regularly includes “feeling words” in his PowerPoint presentations, and emphasizes them in bold! To see emotions and feelings woven into just about every press briefing and visual aid is a social emotional educator’s dream. Introducing an emotional vocabulary to the public helps all of us grasp and name the enormity of what we are feeling. Rather than avoiding “feeling words” he embraces them from a point of strength. This reminds us of our communal responsibility while at the same time validating our collective and personal experiences. We are stressed, we are anxious, and it’s okay and appropriate.

Emotional Vulnerability

Emotional vulnerability is putting yourself out there, intentionally or unintentionally. Showing a part of yourself that you may feel sensitive about, exposing something that makes you feel seen by others.

Governor Cuomo is deeply personal and human which makes him relatable and validates our own personal feelings. As social psychologist Brene Brown notes, “Vulnerability is not weakness; it is our greatest measure of courage.” Governor Cuomo has not shied away from detailing how the crisis is affecting him and his family. He talks about the difficulty of social distancing from his daughters and how it creates an emotional barrier between him and his loved ones. To put it simply, he lets us in and he lets us see the fear and the worry that other leaders might be too ashamed to share. In sharing these feelings though, he makes us feel less alone. He brings us together as human beings, not as followers but as members and collaborators.

Communication and Social Skills

Communication is the act of conveying meanings from one entity or group to another through the use of mutually understood signs, symbols, and semiotic rules. A social skill is any competence facilitating interaction and communication with others where social rules and relations are created, communicated, and changed in verbal and nonverbal ways.

Governor Cuomo is great at taking highly complex information and making it understandable and accessible. His organization of statistics and facts and use of visual tools has helped us make sense of the data, ensuring we feel better informed. He clearly communicates by using a steady tone, friendly and open body language and sincere facial expressions. He calls reporters by name, repeats the questions, is a strong story teller, demonstrates humility about making mistakes, and is open to collaboration and partnership. He has become a role model and in doing so has kept our community calm, coping and courageous.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires.

Governor Cuomo often speaks about his own feelings and how they have affected his political life and family life. He has a rare ability to recognize, understand and label his emotions, thus solidifying his capacity for self-awareness. It is this quality that aids him in making sounder decisions, building stronger relationships, and communicating more effectively. Seeing ourselves clearly strengthens our confidence and can make us more effective leaders. Being more self-aware can also mean we are more open to feedback and more honest about our shortcomings. Cuomo has acknowledged his limitations as Governor - that while he has pledged to do everything he can to lead us through this pandemic, he is fully cognizant of what he can and cannot do as a local versus national or international leader. He also willingly admits to his mistakes - he accepted his responsibility for New York’s lack of preparedness in dealing with this current crisis. In the face of this continuing epidemic, it is this transparency that garners not just our trust and respect, but also our complete admiration.

Self-Regulation

Self-regulation, in the most basic sense, involves controlling one's behavior, emotions, and thoughts in the pursuit of long-term goals. More specifically, emotional self-regulation refers to the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses.

Leaders who are self-regulated are rooted in integrity. They are good role models, they practice what they preach, and they create trusting environments. They do the right thing for the right reasons, even when it means they forsake the easier option. Governor Cuomo is a prime example of someone who leads with integrity. He remains calm and collected during his lengthy presentations and the question and answer period that follows. He does not become reactive and indignant when criticized or baited. He is a master at remaining composed, focused and on point even under the most intense pressure. Self-regulation is about remaining calm in the face of adversity and keeping your cool. As we like to say at The Meeting House, “think before you act, think before you react.” Governor Cuomo successfully employs this skill and his calm tones and thoughtful answers are exactly what we need to put ourselves at ease and maintain our optimism in the coming days.