Finding the right caregiver for your child can be an extremely stressful and arduous process and yet it is, one of the most important decisions that a parent can make in their lives.

A nanny’s responsibility goes far beyond the simple tasks of shuttling kids around, helping with homework, tidying up the house and preparing meals. While these are functionally important, there is something even more valuable. What kind of social emotional wiring does your caregiver have? Are they role models in this way? Do they have an optimistic, kind and gentle temperament? Are they social facilitators or detractors?

The perfect caregiver looks different for every family and we are grateful for the diversity and knowledge that our nannies and mannies impart to us. We’ve spoken with parents, therapists, and teachers to compile a checklist of what personality characteristics are essential in a strong caregiver.

Love of children
Of course the top characteristic of a nanny is his or her genuine love of kids. Education, experience and special skills matter, but none of those will matter if a person doesn’t truly love working with children. Enjoying being with children and feeling honored to be their caregiver is the foundation that everything else is built on.

Fun
Childhood is all about fun. Look for a nanny that truly enjoys what he or she does and will plan enjoyable, well rounded days for your child. Being silly, finding the humor in everyday situations, and having a upbeat outlook on life are all key elements to look for in your next caregiver.

Strong communication skills
The success of the caregiver in a family relationship depends on clear communication. Search for someone who is comfortable asking questions if they are unsure of your expectations or directions. Someone who readily shares important information about your child with you and honestly addresses issues within the employment relationship, shows they are proactively engaged. Transparency is key in establishing engagement between the caregiver and family.

Flexibility, patience, the ability to multitask and improvise
The day will not always go as planned. Activities get cancelled, the weather changes. The caregiver must be able to think on their feet and improvise. Understanding how unexpected changes may affect the child and fostering the flexibility and resilience required by the child are paramount.

Presence, engagement, and mindfulness
We’ve spoken with certain caregivers who note sometimes it is easy to “check out” when the child is doing his or her homework, watching a T.V. show or doing something seemingly self-sufficient. However, it is important the nanny remains on task, present, and engaged with the child. If the child is watching something on TV the nanny should be mindful and sensitive to the content. If the child is doing homework, the nanny should be visually and emotionally present for the child in case they need help or support. A caregiver with their feet up on the couch texting or checking social media, communicates to the child a lack of interests and attention. Self-Awareness in terms of body language and other non-verbal ways of communication should also be strongly considered in your choice.

Finding the right caregiver for your child can be an extremely stressful and arduous process and yet it is, one of the most important decisions that a parent can make in their lives.

For more resources on finding an SEL approved nanny check out Nannies by Noa, and Sensible Sitters.